Training Memo

SRC: [unknown]

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: MANAGEMENT

Subject: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTESTITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else does.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job please see your manager. You will be immediatly placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are specially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T that you can handle.

Employees who don't take there S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T) Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEES ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T) Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T you may be interested in a job training others.

We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T) Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T Will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to the DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T)

If you have any further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTESTIY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T)

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)