If operating systems/programming languages were chickens

• NT Chicken:
  Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
  
  
• OS/2 Chicken:
  It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
  
  
• Win 95 Chicken:
  You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.
  
  
• Microsoft Chicken (TM):
  It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.
  
  
• OOP Chicken:
  It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
  
  
• Assembler Chicken:
  First it builds the road ...
  
  
• C Chicken:
  Crosses the road without looking both ways.
  
  
• C++ Chicken:
  The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.
  
  
• VB Chicken:
  USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)
  
  
• Delphi Chicken:
  The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
  
  
• Java Chicken:
  If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)
  
  
• Web Chicken:
  Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
  
  
• Gopher Chicken:
  Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
  
  
• Newton Chicken:
  Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!
  
  
• Cray Chicken:
  Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.
  
  
• Quantum Logic Chicken:
  The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
  
  
• Lotus Chicken:
  Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
  
  
• Mac Chicken:
  No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.
  
  
• COBOL Chicken:
  

              
  0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.                                           
                 IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
  THEN                                         
                    PERFORM
  0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD                                   
                    VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1
  UNTIL                               
                      
  ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE                                          
                
  ELSE                                                             
                    GO TO
  0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING                                   
  

  
  
  
• Smalltalk Chicken:
  It inherits the crossroad:side method from the Fowl Superclass.
  
  
• Forth Chicken:
  road cross chicken dup
  
  
• Lisp Chicken:
  It only crosses parenthetical roads.
  
  
• HTML Chicken:
  It uses an animated GIF to show a car on the road with the chicken alternating from side to side without getting hurt.